Dear College Girl,
Making friends in college is tough. It’s stressed that these four years are going to be the best that you will ever have; that you will make your best friends here. I’m not going to say that this is false, because my time in college has been great so far. But if there’s one thing that I’ve learned, it’s that college is not always the rainbows and butterflies that is portrayed in the media. Especially when it comes to making friends.
If you’re anything like me, you tend to stick to those that you relate to; to those that make you feel the happiest you’ve ever felt. And when you find those friends, you want to know everything about them, you want to spend all of your time with them, and you want to love them with your whole heart. But sometimes that backfires because you spend so much time with them. Sometimes it backfires because either one or both of you have changed. When these changes happen, it can sometimes be hard to handle and there’s a solid chance that you’ll be feeling alone. But friendships change, people evolve, and life goes on… but that’s easier to say than to face the reality of.
I’ve had my fair share of going through friends. Sometimes the friendships aren’t healthy for you, sometimes feelings grow and then they die. Sometimes you will take two completely different paths, and sometimes your eyes will be opened to see just how different you truly are from each other. Maybe you don’t like the person that you’re becoming, or maybe you’re learning more about the person you don’t want to become…. Whatever the reason may be, it doesn’t make it any easier. Nobody wants to be ditched and left to the side. Nobody wants to be left out. Nobody wants to be put on the back burner.
It’s not until you find those friends who want to be around you, who genuinely care about your wellbeing, who want to know as much about you as you do about them that you realize it will all be okay. And you will find those people. It might not be your freshman year, it might not be until your senior year, but when you find them, you know. These will be the people that invite you out to the bars or frat parties even though they know it isn’t your scene. These will be the people that will ask you to go on a spontaneous hiking or camping adventure because they know it’s what you love to do. These will be the people that you will want to do things that you don’t enjoy doing because you know it will make them happy.
College Girl, it will all work out. It will be stressful, it will be confusing, and it will be frustrating beyond belief, but it will all work out. Just hang in there and know that, eventually, it will all work out.