I don’t really have any problems being single. I mean, to be honest, I quite enjoy it. I’m able to hang out with anyone I want without somebody else telling me no, I can be absolutely disgusting without anybody judging me for it (you know you are, too), I don’t have to share my food or bed, and I get to look at cute boys whenever I want really… and I look at cute boys quite often. But if there’s one thing that I hate about being single, it’s being the third wheel.
I love when my friends fall in love or have mutual crushes on each other. I love that I get to watch them be happy and become a different person – it actually warms my heart. But there’s something about tagging along with them that makes it hard for me to want to continue to be around them. See, I hate being the third wheel. I hate walking behind them on the sidewalk, I hate not being included in conversations, I hate that I feel out of place… basically I hate being left out and I’m jealous of their mutual fancying of each other.
It’s not even that I’m not happy for them, because I am. But after all these years of being the third wheel, you start to question why you’re always the third wheel. Am I not good enough? Not pretty enough? Is it because I stand my ground? Am I too much of a prude? What’s wrong with me? The list is endless and I hate it. I hate how being the third wheel makes me feel worthless and not cared for. I hate that I become somebody that doesn’t talk and isolates themselves from the other two to try to pretend that everything is fine when in reality all I want to do is go cuddle up in bed and cry.
Being the third wheel tends to put a lot of doubt in your mind and it’s emotionally draining for some people. But please remember that it’s not your fault that I feel this way. Don’t assume that I hate you, don’t assume that I’m mad, and don’t assume that you did something wrong. I don’t, I’m not, and you didn’t. I’m just ready to love and/or fancy someone the way that you do to each other, but I’m also impatient and that tends to get in the way of my feelings. I promise I’m happy for you and that I support you… even when it doesn’t seem like it.