Having three brothers (and no sisters) is always an adventure. I’ve had to learn to hold my own and life wasn’t always the easiest. With the four of us being born in roughly 4 1/2 years, things would tend to get a bit crazy around my house. There was loads of fighting, lots of yelling, yet you almost always had someone to play with. To say the least, my brothers have taught me so much throughout my 20 years of existence.
You’re Tougher Than You Think
Remember when I said that there was loads of fighting in my house? Well, most of the time it would end up with me trying to push my brothers away with my legs while I’m lying on the couch. I would generally still end up getting hurt, but the bruises didn’t last long. What lasted the longest were all of the mean words and hateful comments. “What’s up, fatty?”
“You’re ugly. I’m surprised the mirrors aren’t broken yet.”
“STOP SINGING! YOU SUCK AT IT!”
I’m 20 years old. These comments from my childhood shouldn’t bother me to this day, but there’s always that little voice in my head telling me that they’re right. Is that going to stop me from singing? Is that going to stop me from taking selfies and thinking that I look great? No! I’ve just had to learn that I can do whatever it is that I love and they cannot stop me. I won’t let them. They’ve made me tougher.
I didn’t get along well with my brothers at all when we were growing up. I think I probably said, “I hate you!” more times than necessary, but that’s just it. The older we became, the more time we didn’t spend with each other, the easier it became to forgive them for all of the stupid stuff that they did to me. I’ve forgiven them for calling me fat, I’ve forgiven them for being absolute jerks at times, and I’ve forgiven them for hating me. I can only hope that they’ve forgiven me for all of the things that I’ve done.
I have a really rough relationship with my brother that is just above me. It’s hard to be civil with him, it’s hard to be in the same room with him at times, and it’s hard to be nice every time I see him. Even though it has gotten better and easier to be around him, it still takes a lot for us to be around each other. And that’s okay! It’s okay that we’re not best friends, it’s okay that we struggle to be around each other, and it’s okay that our relationship isn’t top notch. Even though we’re not the perfect pair of siblings, he’s taught me patience. He’s taught me that things take time and I can wish for them to fix themselves all I want, but it really does take patience.
The Truth Hurts
Brothers will tell you exactly what you need to hear, or at least what they think you need to hear. And I will be the first to say that sometimes it sucks to hear what you need to hear. It may start off as “normal brother” things that they say, but eventually it becomes constructive and you start appreciating it more and more. It’s not always going to be easy, it’s not always going to be fun, but sometimes it’s needed.
Things Get Easier
I promise that things will get easier in time. I promise that the fighting, the insults, and the physical pain won’t last. It does take time, but the relationships that I have gained with my brothers has been magical. These are relationships I have created are ones that I am so proud of, that I am thankful for, and that I love so much more than ever before.
Not All Boys Are Bad
Two of my brothers are in relationships right now and, as creepy as it is that I do this, I watch them. I watch how they treat their girlfriends, I watch how they act around them, and I watch how in love with their girlfriends they are. While I probably wouldn’t date anyone like my brothers, it gives me hope. It gives me hope that there is somebody out there that won’t treat me like trash, that won’t break me down until I’m nothing, and that will love me for who I am. They have shown me what love looks like and I am so happy to see that. I’m even more excited to know that not all boys are bad.
Above all, I have learned about unconditional love. While we don’t tell each other that we love each other, I know that I love them and I really hope that they love me as well. I would never ever change my brothers for anything in the entire world and I am so beyond thankful for all three of them. I don’t think there are 3 people in the world that I love more than them (okay, my parents are right up there with them.)